It’s 8PM at a formal dinner banquet in China and I am impossibly drunk. The men at the table have done about five rounds of toasting each since the meal began about one hour ago and show no signs of stopping.
We’ve broken into private conversations around the large, circular banquet table. Small clusters of lubricated, bawdy doctors and local businessmen orbit the pull of the lazy susan piled high with Sichuanese dishes like kung pao chicken and clay pot boiled frog. As we encounter other groups on our celestial pathways, we lock eyes, raise our glasses, and heartily encourage each other to down large glasses of the hardest alcohol I’ve ever tasted.
Over the course of this evening, every man at this table of roughly ten is expected to approach and toast each other man as a show of respect. We are consuming the 60% ABV local liquor called baijiu and are expected to match the amount each toaster drinks. That means over the course of this evening, if not properly moderated, each one of us could end up consuming over one hundred shots.
I made it out of the banquet hall that night relatively unscathed. The festivities were muddled by an argument between two rival doctors and the baijiu we sipped was of a rare purity making it much easier on our livers. But this type of dinner just as often ends with disheveled businessmen vomiting in squat toilets and passing out in their chairs, eliciting sheepish looks around the office the following day.
China’s drinking culture is considered difficult to navigate even by its own people. It is a remnant of its over 1,000 years of relatively unbroken history and has only become more prevalent with the rise of modern business.
But while the Chinese know how to navigate the social mores of the dinner table, foreigners frequently are accosted by these same solicitations for toasts at weddings, family dinners, company meetings, and more – and often make mistakes. Finding the right way to comply with drinking etiquette in China takes time and can result in many mornings of splitting headaches in a land full of food not meant for someone with a hangover. However, successfully learning to drink like a local quickly catapults foreigners to esteem in the eyes of their friends, clients, and colleagues alike.
China isn’t the only country with a tough code for drinking etiquette, I’ve found that other regions in Asia (many, satellites of the Chinese diaspora) like Vietnam, Japan, Korea, and more all have their own variations of the same rules. And just like in China, learning to drink like a local can make you much more integrated in the local culture. I want to teach you some of the basics to remember when visiting Asia.
How to Drink in China
Drinking has long been a way to actively build relationships in Chinese society and culture. Traditionally Chinese never drink alone, it is a regular staple of social events like business outings and family gatherings.
Getting drunk is also the way Chinese loosen up around each other. In general, Asian societies like China (and especially Japan) share a pronounced list of self-imposed social restrictions that the average person rigidly follows. Often this includes a stoic philosophy of not complaining or talking about personal problems. From my experience, sitting around the table and sharing drinks is one of the primary ways to cajole locals to share personal feelings and insights.
But unlike in places like the states where sensitive issues are off the table at social gatherings, the drinking table in China is a time to rip the bandaid off a wide range of grievances and tough subjects. For example, your boss might decide the company Christmas party is a great time to break uncomfortable news to you and gauge your reaction. You might also get to finally learn what your friends really think about local politics, the world, and you.
One of the Deans at the college I taught at in China was notorious for getting toasted at events and spouting off diatribes against the Communist Party. The school staff always tried to limit the amount of alcohol he consumed at every event but he would always mysteriously appear with a beer in hand and begin explaining loudly where the party was failing locally.
Toasting in China, Respectfully
Chinese also use drinking to gauge their standing or perceived standing among peers. This is done through a complex toasting system giving everyone multiple opportunities to show each other exactly how much they respect one another. If you ever want to find out where you stand in your workplace I recommend you pay close attention to this section.
When making a toast, Chinese will usually try to touch their cup lower on your cup as a sign of humility. This often results in comical faceoffs where two people will crouch very low to get the lowest touch on each others’ simultaneously descending drinks. I’ve also seen “the ‘ol hand trick” where the toaster keeps the other’s cup from descending lower by placing a flat palm level with his glass making a more humble approach impossible.
An important note: If the person you are toasting with is of higher status (like your boss) you’d be advised to try extra hard to get the lower touch. Someone toasting lower than you does not mean that this person believes themselves inferior to you, just that they are more humble. In China and much of Asia, humility is one of the most important traits a person can have.
Once you’ve navigated the initial touch, you’ll now want to pay attention to how much alcohol the toaster has designated you to drink. Again this has a range of social implications.
Chinese understand asking you to drink your entire glass over and over is a tall order. If they ask you to do it, it implies they don’t believe you’re drunk enough yet. Agreeing to match their finished glass is a sign that you believe you are among friends and are unafraid to be vulnerable. If pressed to “Gan bei” or finish your cup, you may push back and give a lower amount that you wish both of you to drink. You can do this by pointing with your finger the desired level of liquor you wish to leave remaining in the glass. However, if the toaster still pushes you to drink the glass, you need to match their toast or come up with a great excuse or else risk offending them. Not matching the amount the toaster drinks is considered akin to saying “I’m better than you.”
Most drinking in China is done out of a small glass somewhere between a shot glass and a normal glass cup. This makes drinking with hard liquor like the local baijiu deadly but it’s much more manageable when sipping a light Tsingtao beer.
When you are out drinking with family, friends, or colleagues there are a set group of rules for drinking. They go as follows:
- The host toasts the table
- Individuals circulate and give toasts
First, the Host Must Toast
It’s generally impolite to begin drinking before the host makes a toast. Usually, the first toast should be a “ganbei” or “empty cup”. You’ll need to finish that small cup pictured above and whatever it contains for this.
When making a toast, people usually use the right hand to hold the cup as a sign of respect. Even when toasting across the table, you’ll want to hold your glass lower than your host. For extra formality, the left hand can also be placed underneath the cup while it is being held by the right. The proper way to receive or offer a glass of alcohol is always with both hands. This is called “劝酒” quànjiǔ – a practice since ancient times.
Once the Host Toasts, You Circulate
Traditional Chinese meals are always held at large round tables. Often these tables are so large that you’ll end up chatting mostly with those on either side of you. However, after everyone has had a few minutes to eat and chat (and the host has toasted), denizens of the table will begin to rise and toast other groups at the table.
Traditionally, every man at a table that wishes to show respect needs to rise and toast every other man at the table. Women who wish to be included among the men (frequently in business settings) may take part in this as well. Often a man and his spouse will come together to toast another man (though the spouse can elect to drink tea).
Can you refuse to drink in China?
You can always refuse to drink but this should be done politely and with an excuse (I’m sick, etc.) A reason like “I don’t drink” will do little to ingratiate you to your host. Chinese society is about fitting in and they have no religious or moral reasons for staying away from alcohol. It may also not get you out of refusing to toast the host.
One saying often used by Chinese is Ní bù gān zhè yī bēi, jiù bú suàn péngyǒu (If you do not drink one cup, then you are not my true friend).
One tactic you can use if you wish to lower the pace is to switch from drinking baijiu to light beer (Tsingtao, etc.). You can sometimes also pull a move where you select someone else to do all of your drinks for you (so long as they are okay with becoming heavily inebriated).
Drinking in Vietnam
While Vietnam doesn’t have quite the same formal etiquette to drinking as China (or a preference for extremely hard liquor on most occasions) there are a few etiquette things to keep in mind.
Like in China, it is culturally expected for men to enjoy drinking alcohol. They have a saying in Vietnamese that goes: “A man without spirits is like a flag without wind” (nam vô tửu như kỳ vô phong).
Vietnamese almost never drink alone. Traditionally they alway drink with a large group whether that’s at family dinners, weddings, business events, etc. They will cue each other for toasts with the following line:
“Một, hai, ba, vô!” meaning one, two, three, cheers!
Vietnamese don’t have the same preference for finishing their glasses as the Chinese though they may occasionally request: “Một trăm phần trăm.” or 100% (of the cup). Similar to China, this shows a large amount of respect for the toaster if accomplished.
Don’t feel like drinking your whole cup of beer? You can counter with a phrase like “Nam muoi phan tram” which means 50% and most will be fine with this. However, just like China, you generally want to match the amount the toaster drinks.
Vietnamese tend to drink beer by the can poured into glass mugs. They stack completed cans around the table and I always got the distinct feeling this is to proudly show those around their drinking prowess. They usually dump big blocks of ice into these mugs so you can play a long game by allowing the ice to dilute your beer.
In the countryside, you may be offered much more potent home-brewed alcohol than the local beer. I once was knocked out for an evening after a couple of glasses of poppy-infused wine. Some locals have even been known to infuse their beverages with animals like snakes.
Can You Refuse to Drink in Vietnam?
Like in China, refusing alcohol will rarely ingratiate you to the locals (although women are rarely expected to partake). However, Vietnam has large Buddhist and Christian populations and therefore you may be able to reasonably bow out with a religious excuse.
In Ho Chi Minh city (by far the most international part of the country) I found them very accommodating to people wishing to avoid alcohol. However, I could feel it caused them to feel their teetotaling coworker wasn’t quite part of the inner circle.
Preparing to travel to Vietnam? Read our guide on what to expect.
Drinking in Japan
While Japanese drinking culture today shares many similarities with what we know in the West (people frequently drink alone and at bars) it still has some fragments from its East Asian origins.
In Japan, social structure is especially strict, moreso than almost any other country in the world. Most Japanese like to be viewed as serious, hard-working and reserved and rarely feel able to express their true emotions to their peers. Japanese see drinking as a way let down their barriers and build stronger relationships with each other.
Again, like in China, the bar is the place for you to let your feelings fly and even get a little bit scandalous. In these cultures, any social faux pas or disruptive action you commit while intoxicated is usually considered more leniently because you have been drinking. Therefore, expect to see some pretty interesting things on a night out in Japan. There’s an entire Instagram account devoted to Japanese businessmen who have fallen asleep on the street after a big night out.
While Japanese will happily sip their beer and chat at events without synchronizing their swigs with those around them, these gatherings are usually punctuated by the trademark toasts found throughout Asia. During toasts, Japanese will usually yell “Kanpai” meaning “dry cup”, this phrase is the same as saying “bottoms up” or “finish your drink”. However, you are usually not pressured to finish your drink as in Vietnam or China.
Even though Japanese won’t eye your drink every time you toast to see how much respect you have for them ,they will pay attention to how much you drink. Just like in other east Asian cultures, they believe your willingness to get drunk and make toasts denotes how comfortable you feel around present company.
One other thing to note is that Japanese have a culture of filling each other’s glasses when they are empty. If you are not careful, you will end up drinking much more than expected.
What about other Asian countries?
Obviously there are enough different drinking cultures within Asia that the subject could fill an entire novel. These three countries mentioned above happen to be the ones I personally know the most about (and they also happen to be popular tourist destinations) and they all have strong drinking cultures.
It’s worth noting that some more southeastern regions like Indonesia and Malaysia have much less pronounced drinking cultures due to the prevalence of religions like Islam.
I hope you found this article interesting. As usual any feedback is appreciated. To hear a bit more about my day-to-day travels, check out my Substack: Global Scene.